November 4, 2009

FASHION CONFESSIONS


(as seen in Michiana Family Magazine, October 2009)


Hello my name is Kathy, and I’ve never confessed before. I have sins…sins against fashion.

Everyone had a fashion story that haunts them. The time you walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your overly priced pump; or the button that ‘went missing’ at an inopportune time; maybe it’s the time you showed up at the very important party wearing the exact same outfit as your arch nemesis.

Even though wardrobe nightmares have happened to all of us, when it happens to US, we feel mortified…and we never speak of them again. But when we get together as girls, all of our “dirt” comes out in the open!

Consider this…
I was on my way to Virginia for a business meeting. I thought I looked quite stunning on the flight…cream pants, a dusty blue and cream lightweight pull-over sweater, loads of pearls and of course, my double Spanx. Yes – double!

Well, compression garments (Spanx) are HOT! On the flight, I thought I was having a hot flash. So, I went to the restroom, and removed one layer of Spanx. Came back to my seat and started chatting with the lady sitting next to me. After 5 minutes of conversation, I felt I knew her well enough to tell her that I had removed a layer of Spanx because I was so hot. She went on to tell me that she had always wanted to try Spanx, and was hinting that I allow her to try the pair I had removed.

I am a generous person, but giving someone a compression garment that was no longer in the package seemed weird to me. She nagged me the entire flight…to the point where I decided to purchase a pair for her and mail them to the address on her business card. I wonder what her co-workers thought when we received undergarments in the mail.

Do You Travel For Work?
I was out of town on business. The goal of the trip was to meet and schmooze a new client. Part of the schmoozing was a big presentation, where I would stand in front of a boardroom full of executives and present ‘why they should spend money with me’. After that meeting, we headed to dinner. Later that night when I got back to my hotel room - feeling like I was on top of the world - I went into the bathroom and noticed that my zipper was down....all the way down. PANIC! How long had it been down?

I still don't know if I got the project.

What is your typical Mommy day?
I spent the entire day today in PJ pants, and old stained NBC sweatshirt, no makeup, and my hair in a ratty ponytail. When I look in the mirror, all I can think of to say about this look is "fabulous...NOT!" Did I mention that I ran to Martin’s and to the dry cleaners in this fab ensemble?

When Your Wardrobe Doesn’t Cooperate…
Last week I met with a new client. As I was rushing out the door, I realized that I had a hole under the arm of the top I was wearing. I didn't have time to change, so I just didn't raise my arm all day. The hole was bigger than I thought, so I avoided shaking the hand of the client…bad, bad, bad.

Ever Search for a New Signature Fragrance?
Last summer, I was on a quest for a new perfume. The one I love had been discontinued. I got one I thought I would like - so, every morning, I'd spritz a little on - and head out for my day. As the summer went on, I noticed that people around me seemed to stink. I mean, seriously - doesn't anyone in northern Indiana wear deodorant in the summer? After several weeks of the smell following me everywhere, I realized, it was my new perfume. The stink was me! Apparently over the course of the day, the nice clean citrus smell turned to a bad b.o. stink. Nice...

What To Wear
Last week I wore a sheer top without a cami...it needed a cami, BADLY. So to avoid an embarrassing moment, I double-stick-taped the sweater to the top (just to be sure no one could see anything they shouldn't). But it got really hot in my office that day, so I took the sweater off…forgetting about the sheerness of the cami. At lunch, I ran out to get a sandwich…forgot the sweater. I remember thinking to myself “who cares, I am not going to see anyone”. Well, I did. I ran into the pastor from our church.

What Not To Wear
My husband and I went out of town a few weeks ago on a much needed get away. I packed my favorite jeans, the one I spent too much money on – but look like a million bucks on me. As I was getting ready for dinner, I put on the lucky jeans, and quickly realized exactly how much weight I have put on this summer. Yikes!

Well, we went to dinner and got seated at a great table. I slide into my seat and hear ‘rip’…I was so embarrassed, I didn’t even mention anything to my husband. I just sat there…wondering what ripped. Wondering how I could gracefully wear a napkin as an accessory to cover up the hole in my jeans.

I got the courage to go to the ladies room to inspect the damage. I walked with my head held high and a little spring in my step to the restroom…that was all the way in the back of the restaurant. To my horror, the rip was right in the middle seam of the backside of my pants.

I called my husband from my cell phone in the bathroom. We ended up ordering pizza from the hotel room.
(photo from styletips.com)

2 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh my GOSH!!! Too funny.

Debbie said...

love the fragrance story! and empathize on the ripped jeans -- summer was a little too good to me :)